Let me write this piece of autobiography more like a sales letter. So what sells? Talk about girlfriends does, for starters! If some "Ts" like Chetan Bhagat can sell a million copies exploiting the weakness of the male mind for fun and girls, why not me!! So here is the story:
BTW, what’s a T? I know you want to ask. Its high time you reduced your expectations from me. I wont tell you a lot of things and leave you hanging and scratching your head. Moreover, you won’t understand. Further, I don’t want to take the pains to make you understand. You can replace T with a word of your choice. Till then, T is for “talented” (irony intended in case you are a sorry soul who is a fan of Mr. Bhagat). So did the idiot have a girlfriend? Or is it irony again?
You bet he had, and a hot one at that. One who was the ‘talk of the town’. Those were the funny old days when talk of the town used to be individuals and not restaurants. I am bored of being original now so let me throw in some clichés (after all you are probably not used to reading a lot of original stuff): those were also the days when gay meant merriment and the posh residential area in London used to be the home ground for Arsenal football club. Talking of Arsenal, the guy Thierry Henry was some goalscorer but they have lost it now. Back to the idiot please! The idiot preferred Chelsea. Primarily because blue is a nice color. Or at least that is what he thought. I always have a funny feeling whenever it think about colors. What if all the colors were blue? Exactly the same shade of blue? Even the shadows were blue? I wouldn't have liked living in such a world.
So back to the schooldays of our beloved idiot. 11th grade to be precise. The idiot went for Chemistry tuition. That he went for tuition for Physics, Biology and Mathematics isn’t relevant in here. That he failed consistently in all of these all year isn’t relevant either. Bottom-line is he went for Chemistry tuition and this is where the story about the girlfriend starts. So the girlfriend in waiting was with him on the tuition? I thought you will guess it! I never doubted your IQ, or the lack of it! She wasn’t with him. No, she wasn’t.
Before I finish, I would like to share the feedback about the idiot’s first chapter given to me by someone.
Idiot 2: slightly disagree
Idiot: about what?
Idiot 2 : So why was I born? Because my sisters were my sisters! If they were my brothers I would have been non-existent. It becomes relevant to ask that if my sisters were not my sisters then I would have been non-existent and they wouldn't have been "my" brothers.
Idiot: what’s the disagreement?
Idiot 2: you have a younger brother despite your existence.
Idiot: dude!
What if I had 3 elder brothers? Because of 3 sisters, they needed 2 brothers to compensate!
Idiot 2: Ratio n proportion was definitely not the concept in his mind
3:2 or something of that sort.
Just 1 khandan ka chirag was sufficient.
Idiot: Just say its "well written" and your feedback is complete. And btw, I turned out to be a non-chirag
Idiot 2: No. A chirag but whose illuminating batti is not seen to the worldly people.
Idiot: Yeah
I emit infra red light.
Dogs see it (I am not sure but how will a fellow idiot know)
And you see it too.
Dont read between the lines!
So what about the idiot’s girlfriend? Did you really believe he had one? You did not!!
Right? You did not!
And again, you are wrong. He did have one. But you think he had one so easily? You did not!
Just that this time, you are right. You do have an IQ above 70. Thanks for reading!!
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